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the world that has made us can no longer contain us.
May 09 12 - • • •

I've had some time to organize my thoughts now, and I wanted to write this post up to explain why I'm so broken up over the death of Adam Yauch (aka MCA of The Beastie Boys).

When I was a kid in the late eighties and early nineties, MTV was forbidden in my house. My fanatical fundamentalist Christian grandmother paid for cable so she could watch her soaps and westerns, but considered MTV to be of the devil and refused to allow it in the house. The only music to which I was ever exposed up until I was around 12 was Christian gospel and classical music. I developed a deep love for classical that continues to this day, but part of me always sensed that there was a whole galaxy of musical expression and innovation that was happening just beyond my fingertips, and I ached to hear all of it. I resented my grandmother to no end for keeping it from me.

But when I was about 13, my grandmother's health began to decline and she became more preoccupied with that than regulating what I watched on TV. So it became easier to sneak in precious half-hours alone in the den to watch Total Request Live and Jump Start blocks of music videos in the early mornings. I'd had no idea how much music existed out there in the world, and immediately I began secretly buying and hoarding "forbidden" tape cassettes in my bedroom. I'd pay my friends to buy them for me when their parents took them to Strawberries, the only music store in our tiny town.

I fell in love with grunge, hip-hop and various pop, but hip-hop in particular tended to elude my sensibilities despite my fondness for its sound. I couldn't relate to it - I loved the beats, the poetry of freestyle rhyming, the creativity from back when hip-hop was creative and clever and not just verse after verse of bitches and hos and ice. But none of it really seemed to apply to me the way the angst and anger of grunge or the giddy youthfulness of pop did. Until I stumbled across The Beastie Boys.

They weren't pretending at being badass gangstas or pimps, they were three nerdy, sarcastic Jewish kids from Brooklyn who somehow invoked lyrics like "My job ain't a job, it's a damn good time! City to city, I'm running my rhymes!" It was fun and silly and powerful and clever in a way I didn't realize hip-hop knew how to be. When Licensed to Ill came out in '87, I did not turn that shit off ever. It always cheered me up after a bad day, it always made me feel strong to shout alone in my room, "I can't stand it, I know you planned it! I'mma set it straight, this watergate! I can't stand rocking when I'm in here, 'cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear!"

They were my buddies, these three MCs who loved Star Wars and pretty girls but told Rolling Stone that desperate groupies throwing themselves at them just made them feel "kinda shy. Like, it's easy to get laid but those chicks don't give a shit about us, really. Makes you feel kinda cheap." And then Adam Yauch started studying Buddhism and discussing it with the press and the fans, everything he was learning and discovering about himself and philosophy, and it inspired me to study eastern philosophy as well. I feel like we went through our learning periods together, if on parallel planes. His mind bloomed open around the same time that mine did.

What I loved about MCA was that he wasn't some Hollywood poseur pretending to be deep; he went to Tibet, studied with monks for years, his wife is a devout Buddhist. He actually went so far as to apologize for the misogyny in The Beastie Boys' early lyrics and to change them in all performances and future recordings from that day on, without being prompted or criticized for the lyrics in the first place. He donated tons of money to campaigns fighting to free Tibet. His role as a feminist activist and supporter of womens' rights made me feel like there were good men out there, when the men in my life were convincing me otherwise.

I grew up with The Beastie Boys, I changed with them, learned with and from them. They were part of a revolution for me, a huge part of opening up a whole new world of music to me. I owe them, especially Adam, so much. So thanks for everything, MCA. I love you, man, and I miss you so much.

I'll conclude with this, because it's the best tribute I've seen thus far.Collapse )

Jan 01 11 - HEY. HI. HELLO.

If you have this journal friended & have not commented HERE, please do so asap. As my userinfo states, I will not add anyone who has not commented there, I get too many spambots and random people from icon communities friending me. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR MY ICONS, they are all over at spiritcreek. If you fall into neither of these categories and have me friended for whatever other reason, please take me off your friends list now. I am all for new friends, but I have no idea who half the people who have me friended are. Thank you. ♥

...To be locked in a few days.

EDIT: if you've already commented in my fo post and I've already friended you back, please disregard this post!
Nov 29 10 - icons for usakeh!
These icons were requested by usakeh, and I'm posting them here instead of at spiritcreek since they're especially for her. I hope you enjoy, boo! Please do let me know if you'd like any variations, anything changed on any of them, etc.

Under the cut!Collapse )
For serious, I love this man. I will never get tired of this video, and so I am now spamming all of you with it. Enjoy.

HAHA, also? I ordered a couple of books off Amazon today, and when I checked out they offered to let me use this "pay phrase" specific to my account that I could just type in to pay for things quickly next time, instead of entering all of my information. The pay phrase is randomly chosen, but mine was so funny and fitting that I had to shared it.

I am not even kidding, this is what popped up.Collapse )

Only people who have been reading my journal for a while will get why this is funny.
Oct 27 09 - icon post!

#1 - 14: Eli Roth
#15 - 16: Janedoe Suicide
#17 - 26: the artwork of Jason Levesque
#27 - 28: random "nerd" text

Small post this time around. Comment & credit (both myself and the artist), por favor!


I am sending this to everyone's Blueberry.Collapse )
Friends cut.

If you get cut and would like to be added again, PM me.
Feb 19 09 - icon post IV.

#1 - 34: the artwork of Mike Maglio
#35 - 69: the artwork of Glin Dibley

Note: comments are love, and please make sure to comment both the artist and spider when/if you use these! Also, this post is dedicated to evaporar - happy birthday, darling!


This is theme music, this is dream music. This is art.Collapse )
Ask me a question, tell me a story;

Self-explanatory, no?

• Ask me a question - about myself, about something you know/think I might be able to answer/clear up for you (politics, the violin, EMS, literature, whatever). Ask for my opinion on something, ask something rhetorical, whatever you like. Nothing is too personal or weird, and there's no such thing as a dumb question.

• Tell me a story - also self-explanatory. Tell me a story about you, your past, your present or your future. Happy memories, jokes, funny stories, sad stories, fears and dreams; I want them all. Anything and everything. Long or short, nothing is too explicit and nothing will get shared outside of this post without your definite permission. It's unlikely that I'll ask, but if you post something really poignant or beautiful I might ask to share it with my f-list or something. Anonymously of course, unless you'd like your name attached to it.

All comments are screened, anon is on. This post will remain public for now, so please link your friends! I'd love questions/stories from people I don't know.

Here's some coding if you'd like to make your link all pretty.Collapse )
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